


After The Storm

by arthurmorgan-s-heart (Silverblind)



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, Panic Attacks, description of a panic attack, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21877093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverblind/pseuds/arthurmorgan-s-heart
Summary: Sometimes, all you need is a friendly shoulder to lean on.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 91





	After The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> This is a request fill from my tumblr blog. Uploaded here for convenience - find me on tumblr - arthurmorgan-s-heart
> 
> Original request text: "i have a request! could you write something involving arthur comforting the reader, for example after a scary shootout? him being a real softy. nsfw if you want to, if it fits. i’m a sucker for romantic comforting"

You had been in shootouts before. Many times.

You had killed, and almost been killed yourself, more than once.

It doesn’t affect you anymore.

It _shouldn’t_ affect you anymore.

But as you sit alone in the woods, a little ways from camp, trying to steady your erratic breathing and calm the wild beating of your heart, you can’t stop thinking about the encounter you’d had earlier today. Just a few O’Driscolls who had come riding after you, nothing new, quickly taken care of…

_This shouldn't be happening._

Your heart is beating so hard against you ribs that you fear they might snap at any moment. The trunk of the tree you’re leaning back against is hard and unyielding, and you almost want to smash your head into it just to quiet the swirling storm of your thoughts.

A small whimper escapes you, halfway between a sob and a groan, and you press your hand against your mouth, praying that no one hears you. _It’ll pass,_ you tell yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. _It always does_.

You pull your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs as you let your head fall forward, trying to shut out the rest of the world as you fight the feeling of nausea gathering in your stomach. _Just a few more minutes. Then I’ll be okay again._

“Y/N? You there?”

Arthur’s voice is low and quiet, barely a shout, but in the silence of the woods, it rings out like a sudden clap of thunder, and you feel yourself stiffen as your eyes snap open, pressing yourself back against the tree you’re hiding behind, feeling the bark dig into your skin through your clothes. You don’t want him to see you like this. You _can’t_ let him see you like this. Not _him._ What will he think of you?

_Weak._

_Pathetic._

A small part of you whispers that this is _Arthur_ ; you know him too well to think he'd be that callous - and yet, a bigger, louder part of you screams that he'll never look at you the same way again, that he'll always be whispering and mocking you behind your back if he finds you like this. The thought brings tears to your eyes, but you blink them away, trying to focus on quieting your breathing.

“Y/N!” he calls again, slightly louder, and you can hear dry leaves and twigs crunching and snapping under his boots as he steps further into the forest and closer to you. You close your eyes again, trying to keep yourself still, and silent, and calm, but your heart is beating too loud, and you can’t breathe, and you can’t stop yourself from shaking, and - 

“Y/N?”

You don’t dare open your eyes as you hear him stop next to you, letting your head lean forward again. Only then do you crack your eyelids open, focusing all your attention on a leaf half sticking out from under your left boot, wishing yourself to be a thousand miles away as you wait for him to laugh and turn away - but all you hear is the rustling of leaves as he kneels next to you, and the concern in his voice as he speaks again.

“You alright?” he asks, although you're sure the answer is obvious, and you feel his hand hovering near your shoulder, not daring to touch. You almost want to pull away, but you can’t bring yourself to move. Your breath quickens again, breaking the tenuous hold you’d managed to keep on it for the last few moments. “You hurt?”

You gather your strength and manage to shake your head, tightening your hands into fists as your breath rattles in and out of your throat, too fast, too hard, too loud. Tears well in your eyes again, and a sob wrenches itself from your throat, uncontrollable and unexpected, followed by another, and another. You can still feel him next to you, unmoving - _why is he still here?_

“You're gonna get through this, Y/N.”

Arthur’s words are so quiet that you can barely hear them over the rushing of your blood in your ears - but you do, and you finally look up at him, just enough to meet his eyes, and you can see it there, in the unexpected warmth of his gaze - he _knows_. He’s been there before.

“Can I stay with you?” he asks carefully as your sobs trail off into hiccups, and you find yourself nodding, closing your eyes again. He sits himself on the ground next to you, and you feel your mind start to settle after a few moments, Arthur's calm, steady presence slowly pulling you back from the darkest reaches of your mind as he whispers quiet encouragements. You move closer to him without realising it, until your shoulder is against his, and by then the beating of your heart seems a bit quieter. You feel him move, and you're almost startled when you feel his hand on your shoulder, flinching away slightly. His touch is warm and comforting, and you feel yourself relax after a few moments.

"That okay?" He asks, fingers ghosting over your shoulder blades, and he waits for your nod before laying his open hand on your back, tracing slow, soothing patterns, keeping his touch light. Soon, your breathing starts to slow, and you feel like you can breathe again. His hand settles at the nape of your neck.

"You wanna talk about it?" He whispers, and you shake your head slowly. Later, perhaps. But for now, you just want to forget. You feel his hand start to move again. "Okay."

You allow yourself to enjoy his touch for a long while before you open your eyes, taking a few more seconds before you turn your head to look at him. He's smiling, warmly, if a bit sadly, you can't help but notice.

"Feelin' better?" He whispers as he meets your eyes, his hand still on your back.

"Yes," you answer. Your voice is hoarse and weak from disuse, and you clear your throat, trying to swallow the last of your tears. "Thank you," you add after a few seconds.

"Don't know if I did much," he replies with a shrug, raising his head to look at the trees above. Without thinking, you reach up to touch his chest, bringing his eyes back down to you.

"You did," you say quietly, your fingers brushing lightly over the small part of his collarbone peeking from the open collar of his shirt. You don't think you'd ever have dared do this had the circumstances been any different - but here, alone in the dark and just having shared a moment of incredible vulnerability, it feels… _right_. Still, you take your hand away quickly, bringing it back to grip your legs as you turn your eyes to the dark woods. You both sit in silence for a moment, his hand still lightly stroking your back, his thumb following the line of your spine, and you feel yourself lean into him.

"You wanna go back to camp?" He asks after what seems to be hours, his voice barely above a whisper.

You shake your head, nestling yourself against his side, the small catch in his breath escaping you.

"Want me to leave?" He breathes quietly after a few more seconds, and you shake your head again.

"Please don't," you whisper, and you think you would have taken his hand in yours had you been bold enough to - instead, you reach down to grip his knee, a feather-light touch that you hope he understands - _I want you here._

The regular pattern he'd kept on your back stutters for a heartbeat, as if hesitating, before it resumes, tracing the same soothing path along your spine and shoulders.

"Alright then," he answers, and you close your eyes, your heart skipping a beat as he rests his chin on top of your head. You feel warmth flickering in your chest, slowly spreading through your body as you allow yourself to think, for the first time in years, that perhaps things would be okay, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> First thing I've written in a while. Not sure how I feel about it. Enjoy!


End file.
